DEAR ELMO by Scott
Halperin
DEAR ELMO;
Is it true that Jeff Mossler is really going bald?...Randy Wynn (Emeritus)
DEAR RANDY: No, it just seems that way because his head is getting
bigger.
DEAR ELMO;
Who invented the game “Tush Ball”?...John Kalish
DEAR JOHN: I thought everyone knew it was the brothers Sol and Fred
Tush!
DEAR ELMO;
How many years has Harold Hiken worn his toupee?...Jim Hiken
DEAR JIM: Ever since he caught that
grizzly bear, about seven years ago.
DEAR ELMO;
How come Barry Schulman has never been caught in a counselor
hunt...Mike Ukman
DEAR MIKEY: Barry disguises himself as a cabin each year.
DEAR ELMO;
How come we have not had steak sandwiches at camp like we have had in
past years?...Scott Halperin
DEAR SCOTT: Harold explained it to me as,”a compensation decline
in the relative meat cutters union, which has caused a steady
upheaval in the wholesale shipment cost of steak”. Simple,
huh?
DEAR ELMO;
Is it proper, when setting the table, to place the napkin on the left
or right side of the plate?...Matt Healy
DEAR MATT: The way it’s always been done at camp is to place the
napkin in the drinking cup, right next to the bowl.
DEAR ELMO;
How come you left early this summer? That’s not right for a
counselor to do...Gary Mangelsdorf
DEAR ZONER: I didn’t leave early, everyone else is staying
late.
This is intended as a parodic column.
No questions, answers or opinions expressed here are authentic. All
lawsuits should be referred to Vance Leibman of Chicago,
IL.
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